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Third Sapphire

Mishu's murder is just the beginning of Bri's troubles, as Dirken continues to terrorize the dimensions. Or is it really Dirken at all...?

Chapter 4, Page 1.

September 24th, 2006, 12:00 am

Average Rating: None
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Author's Comments:

Reply UglyKitten, September 20th, 2006, 2:43 am

I really, really like how this page turned out. Bri in the window, the cabin was based off of a Lincoln Logs cabin. XD The clock is sort of an inside joke. Has anyone ever seen Once Upon a Forest? The old badger has a clock just like that one. I thought he was a vampire the first time I saw that movie, so the thought just struck when I started this page. You can guess what's in the Monday and Wednesday canisters when I say "vampire", right? ^^;

It seems I've made a few more fans! ^^; lol. I didn't expect to, really.

reSidheprincezzz: Thank you muchly! ^_^ I've been told my tones are really my strongest point--sharp eye! I'm glad you can understand the story, cause that seems to be my major problem is getting the story pacing sucks. ^^;

redoom Bubbles: I'm sorry for the confusion...I know it all hinges on my horrible pacing. .__. I am working harder to keep it more understandable. ^-^ Thank you for reading~!

reMetraWorley: Thank you SO much for the crit! So it was the characters who were the problem...meh. >.< I always DID move too fast. ^^; I'm attempting to slow it down...and pace it a bit more evenly. @__@ Wish me luck, cause I have almost no clue what I'm doing. XD

Reply Advertisement, August 22nd, 2019, 1:26 pm

User's Comments:

Reply Rain (Guest), September 24th, 2006, 2:08 am

There are some proffesionally-produced manga that move really fast. It's all a matter of keeping things steady, though not necessarily at one rate only.
Make the pace slower for areas you want the reader to be focussed on or more moved by, and make the pace faster for action scenes or the scenes that are just there to give the meat of the story rather than the plot and meaningfulness...
(I know I'm only making things sound easier than they are, since I'm not a mangaka, sorry...)

Reply Sidheprincezzz, September 27th, 2006, 12:22 pm

the cabin turned out great! and i like the eyes in the last panel. :)

Reply Silvarea (Guest), December 29th, 2006, 3:21 am

I can see your work improving but your not seeing your work!

Your art and the dialogue HAVE to tell the story..

If you think it's not then something more needs to be added as in more pages your telling your story with to few pages per chapter and you know it.. You wouldn't have this urge to fill us all in .. maybe your hand illness is the problem, I know what it's like to hurt and how much more that hurt is when your wanting to do something you love so much.

Trust in your story and your art, please.

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